Kinky Nikz 2.0 - Black Men, Black Hair

‘Who said a black man couldn’t love a woman with natural hair?’


The quote of the day comes from a couple on a facebook group entitled ‘Black Men who Love Women with Natural Hair’.

When I started my ascent into ‘naturaldom’ I never thought about how men may perceive me or how their approach may change. I was in a new relationship with a man that seemed happy with my appearance. I was just thinking about the new experience, how good it felt to be 100% me excluding all fixtures and fittings but I couldn’t help but note how the scales tipped.

During the straight days I was often approached by men, hell, I had a good few on my checklist, on standby, waiting to be one of the chosen few (lol!) but as soon as I started growing my own hair it all changed. It reaffirmed the age old message that men are superficial creatures (as if I could forget), just as superficial as us women, they don’t see hidden depths in an appearance, they see breasts, hips and ass and if many of them are to have it there own way, long, straight hair.

You see, from what I have noted, black men are attracted to long hair (an attribute which is never associated with black women) and who can blame them? Their mothers, sisters, aunties, cousins all sport the same look and long hair is considered good hair, hair that many black women aspire to have. Now on this note, I am fully aware that many of my blog posts may be considered a generalisation, an account that makes black men seem ignorant but stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason and I guarantee that ALL of you reading this piece of editorial know a black man that puts ‘good haired’ women on a pedestal and wouldn’t spit on us nappy’s. But is that such a bad thing?


I mean yes, the majority of the kind of men that used to approach me don’t anymore but the ones that do, come with intelligent conversation and genuine comments. They are less absorbed in the flesh, blood and bones of this land and more concerned with content of your inner. Obviously, this is just my experience and I can’t speak for every natural out there but I did think that this would be a good opportunity to get a male opinion on the topic of black women with natural hair.

“Ok, so where do I begin. I suppose I should start by introducing myself… nah, on second thoughts, I think I’ll delve straight into the heart of the issue. Before I do so though; I’ve got some questions, not from the ‘black male’ perspective although I am a black male asking, ‘‘can we have some perspective here/hair please ladies’’?



Right… Why would you choose to have your hair in any other textural state than it was intended (… and that, ‘it’s easier to manage’ nonsense won’t wash)? What’s the real reason behind mercilessly ‘frying’ and chemically burning into submission your eau-naturelle strands? Is it social acceptance? Is it a negative self-image which is apparently remedied by; weave; wigs and perms? Does it in all actuality, point towards a lack of self esteem? Are the fake nails, fake eyelashes, and general ‘makeup’ indicative of some form of mental imbalance? Look, before you get upset, like I said; let’s have some perspective.


How do I view black women who go against the grain and don their natural hair?



Generally, I think it’s a ‘power move’. I think it shows strength of character and in a sense, leadership qualities. Remember, in former flourishing civilisations, females held the reigns and steered their nation onto great things for telling durations of time.

I think it demonstrates willingness to, metaphorically, detach from the masses… And Self Actualise. FYI. Self Actualisation isn’t ‘new age’ phenomenon – all it means is; you don’t ‘business’ what opinions people have of you. Not that you’re unaware of others opinions, just that you Trust and Value your own opinion more. It’s, based on a famous theorists, pinnacle of human needs, as in; your needs are generally satisfied through rationality, soul searching and/or internally. If you still don’t get it; are you comfortable with your own company?

I’ve found that when I hit the roads with my ‘missus’, be it: dinner, raving or… museums, the compliments are literally consistent. This leads me to believe that more of you females would take the bold step and go eau-naturelle if you thought you wouldn’t be marginalised, and viewed as unattractive.
I’ll close with this; if you’re curious, go for it! There’s a saying, ‘Enter Any Action With Boldness’.”


Swoon!!! Smart and good looking! Preach…


For me, the bottom line is live how you want but make informed decisions. Black men that tend to favour Eurocentric hair types don’t do so out of a pre-determined preference but out of instinctive ignorance - the same ignorance that almost forces black women to alter their hair texture.


Natural women ARE sexy and just to prove my point I thought I’d leave you with a little eye candy this week. Check out my natural hotties from the fore mentioned facebook page and if you have the time, log on and check out the discussion boards but beware, you may be left arguing with the screen for a few hours!

Peace, Love and Nappyness!


KN